Interior struggle

Don't be troubled if, as you consider the wonders of the supernatural world, you hear that other voice, the intimate, insinuating voice of your 'old self'.

It is 'the body of death' crying out for its lost rights. 'His' grace is sufficient for you: be faithful and you will conquer.

The world, the flesh and the devil are a band of adventurers who take advantage of the weakness of that savage you bear within you, and want you to hand over to them, in exchange for the glittering tinsel of a pleasure — which is worth nothing, — the pure gold and the pearls and the diamonds and rubies drenched in the life— blood of your GodRedeemer, which are the price and the treasure of your eternity.

Do you hear? Somewhere else, in another state, in another position, you would do much more good. Talent isn't needed to do what you are doing.

Listen to me: wherever you have been placed you please God,… and what you have just been thinking is clearly a suggestion from the devil.

You worry and are saddened because your Communions are cold and dry. Tell me: when you approach the Sacrament, is it yourself you seek or is it Jesus? If you seek yourself, you have reason indeed to be sad. But if — as you ought — you seek Christ, could you ask for a clearer sign than the Cross to know that you have found him?

Another fall, and what a fall! Must you give up hope? No. Humble yourself and, through Mary, your Mother, have recourse to the merciful Love of Jesus. A miserere, and lift up your heart! And now begin again.

How low you have fallen this time! Begin the foundations from down there. Be humble. Cor contritum et humiliatum, Deus, non despicies, God will not despise a contrite and humble heart.

You have not set yourself against God. Your falls are due to weakness. All right; but those weaknesses are so frequent — you aren't able to avoid them — that, if you don't want me to think you bad, I shall have to think you both bad and stupid.

Wanting, without really wanting: that is your attitude as long as you don't put the occasion firmly aside. Don't try to fool yourself telling me you are weak. You are… a coward, which is not the same thing.

That disturbance in your spirit, the temptation which envelops you, seems to blindfold the eyes of your soul.

You are in darkness. Don't insist on walking by yourself, for, by yourself you will fall. Go to your Director — to the person in charge — and he will remind you of those words of Raphael the Archangel to Tobias:

'Take comfort; before long God will heal you.' Be obedient and the scales will fall from your eyes, and God will fill you with grace and with peace.

I am not able to conquer myself, you write despondently. And I answer: But, have you really tried to use the means?

Blessed misfortunes of the earth! Poverty, tears, hatred, injustice, dishonour. You can endure all things in him who strengthens you.

You are suffering, and you want to bear it in silence. It does not matter if you complain, — it is the natural reaction of our poor flesh, — as long as your will, now and always, wants for yourself only what God wants.

Never despair. Lazarus was dead and decaying: 'By now he will smell; this is the fourth day', says Martha to Jesus.

If you hear God's inspiration and follow it — 'Lazarus, come out!' — you will return to Life.

It's hard! — Yes, I know. But, forward! No one will be rewarded — and what a reward! — except those who fight bravely.

If everything seems to be fading away, if your spiritual edifice totters, find your support in that filial confidence in Jesus and Mary the sure and steady rock on which you should have built from the beginning.

It has been a long trial this time. Perhaps — and without the perhaps — you haven't borne it well so far, for you were still seeking human consolations. And your Father— God tore them out by the roots so as to leave you nothing to cling to but him.

So you couldn't care less? Don't try to fool yourself. This very moment, if I were to ask you about certain people and undertakings in which for God's love you put your soul, I know that you would answer me eagerly, with the interest of one speaking of what is his own.

It's not true that you don't care. It's just that you're not tireless, and that you need more time for yourself: time that will also be for your activities since, after all, you are the instrument.

You tell me that in your breast you have fire and water, cold and heat, empty passions and God… one candle lit to Saint Michael and another to the devil.

Don't worry: as long as you want to fight there are not two candles burning in your breast. There is only one: the Archangel's.

That is nearly always the way the devil tackles souls who are going to resist him: hypocritically, quietly, with motives… of a spiritual nature! Trying not to attract attention. — And then, when there seems to be no way out (though there is), he comes brazenly trying to gain another Judas-like success — despair without repentance.

After losing those human consolations you have been left with a feeling of loneliness, as if you were suspended by a mere thread over the black emptiness of the abyss. And your cries, your shouts for help seem to be heard by nobody.

You really deserve to be forlorn. Be humble, don't seek yourself don't seek consolation. Love the Cross — to bear it is little — and our Lord will hear your prayer. And calm will be restored to your senses. And your wounded heart will heal. And you will have peace.

Everything seems to touch you on the raw…, to make you suffer in your mind and in your senses. And everything is temptation to you…

Be humble — I insist. You will see how quickly all this passes; and the pain will be turned into joy: and the temptation, into firm purpose.

But meanwhile, strengthen your faith; fill yourself with hope; and make constant acts of Love, even though you can feel them only on your lips.

All our fortitude is on loan.

Each day, my God, I am less sure of myself and more sure of you!

If you don't leave him, he won't leave you.

Depend on Jesus for everything. You have nothing, are worth nothing, are capable of nothing. He will act, if you abandon yourself to him.

Oh, Jesus! I rest in you.

Trust always in your God. He does not lose battles.